Too much is good! :D

My father who has recently started Pranayama sessions with Mr...er..Baba Ramdev (Please, dont go away just yet. Read on, please!), was telling me yesterday (something that this Baba Ramdev mentioned in his long speeches that go along with the workout sessions) that some guy (Shivaji, umm no, someone else with a name starting with an 'S') had made a list of these 7/8/I'm not really sure how many qualities that a human being must possess to be a good one in his eyes..which included one 'Sher' (Tiger, for firangis) ki quality(which, put simply, means feeling too much of excitement/love/hatred..basically feeling too much of everything..for everything - the hyper-excited, the aggressive quality) which is pretty much the most dominant of all the qualities, if any, that I do have. :O Not many people consider it to be a good quality. My parents..not so much..but then, they have reasons. LOL. Sometimes, people surprise you, don't they? Even such once-upon-a-time, long dead characters!

Anyway, the main baat is that I love me and pity people who don't feel as much as I do..who'd have made good G.K. Gokhale(s), not Bhagat Singh(s), during the Independence struggle in the early nineties, who don't feel the same level of Ughhhhhhhh-ness on seeing No Smoking or the same amount of Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh-ness on encountering anything remotely related to dogs and/ don't want to call them "saale kutttttttttteee" every time with the same level of stress on the 't'(s) or don't loooooooooooooove everyone around/the weather/small, hardly-noticeable-to-human-eyes things as much as I do or feel as much looooooooooooooooooooove as I do whenever I look into those eyes...those beautiful.....beautiful...



.......umm..where was I..! Oh, yes, they're definitely missing out on a lot of L.I.F.E.

WHOA! WHAT?

First things first,

Guess what, JOHN and KATRINA DIE at the end of the movie!!!! DIE!!!!!Muhahahahahahahaha!!

Ok, THAT I've always wanted to do. Really. PK (NOT JK's relative. I charge for special appearances on my blog and that's what the free ones get.) spoiled the whole suspense and the generally happy home-room mood, when he burst right into the classroom with "Dumbledore dies", right after the day the book was released. The Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It was a catastrophe. None of us had any premonition of this impending doom and hence, were totally unprepared.

I'm not doing a review here a la Rajeev Masand. Who, BTW, I really like. I can't say love. I've started loving too many, too much. It's hard to create a line. But yes, he's awesome. I like the way he does the reviews. He's aggressive in his choice of words and so, we have a connection :) . Doesn't get off focus just to sound funny or something. He's great, really. OK, I take his word only if I want to. I mean, the guy's great and everything, but we don't have to agree on everything, right? So, yeah, he spoiled Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na for me, which was probably the first time I listened to a review before watching the movie myself. He called it an average movie. And so, I could not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Second time round when I watched the movie alone, at home with Tyler (That's what my bro has named our PC. Lame, no?? Muhaha. Guess what our laptop is called! Dragon!!! Ahahaha. And he calls me lame. Ah, whatever.), I cried buckets, tubs, drums. I don't exactly know why I cried that much when it's supposed to be a feel-good movie. Well, I still have doubts about me. Hee hee.

Okay, returning back to the main point. I don't intend to do a review of the movie. But, my would-have-been-victim in such a case is in Bangalore doing an internship and I don't really think I can afford a STD call, right now. She calls me up in the middle of the night because of a "MAJOR CRISIS!!" that was Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. She'd just seen the movie and was feeling "destroyed, deeply affected, devastated!!!". Yeah, you get the drift. And it went on for some 3 hours. Gawd, I am such an amazing friend! And everybody at home is sick tired of my 'wondering aloud'. So, yay!! :) Blessing in disguise, right? What disguise! Just blessing.

So the movie is going awesomely well throughout, right untill the end. I'm about to cry at one particular point when my dude of a bro makes a you're-such-a-lamerrrr expression and off we go laughng. I mean, I don't get it. JOHN DIES!!! KAT DIES!! I don't feel a thing. Nothing. I didn't cry. Didn't want to jump right into the movie and save them from the bullets that went right through them. Nothing. In my friend's words, kuch feel nahi aayi. You know, it seemed all fake. I knew it was a movie and there were actors playing it. I wasn't shocked when they died. Nor sad. Cause they were merely actors playing their respective roles. Just that.

Why exactly John did what he did, I can not figure out. The message of the movie, if any, was also very vague.

I like the songs a lot though. Especially 'Mere Sang'. I like the feel of the song. This Pritam guy's really cool, man. I mean, he copies the best of Taiwanese/Korean tunes and brings them to India.

Anyway, my mood has changed from aggressive, DAMN CONFUSED-can't figure out a thing, weird to normal, normally hungry, judging whether or not I'm in love with NNM(damn, his name is looong). So, yeah, I'm not going to elaborate any further on my point. There's no maggi. :( Toh, basically, Sunfeast Pasta ki Jai!!! Shit, I'm back to confused. Blue, Red, Green ya Orange??!!!

And now, John can hate me forever..

OK, I have to get this out!! I just saw 'the ugliest thing ever', a few days back!! No, it's not him in the pic. It's the ugliest I could find on google.


I was going to attend a class and I took the same route as always. But there it was! And I don't know why, but it seems to me that it could have been a ghost or a something else than a dog. It did not look real from any angle. It could NOT have been stray! He was way too 'fit' to let the other normal stray dogs survive!! No, it couldn't have been real! I only saw him once. What irks me more is that the next time I was passing the same place, I was with my mother and unconsciously pushed her to that side of the road..err..footpath where I saw him. I'd wanted to show her that there's always a solid reason for my a-tad-too-often bouts of hyper-activity and obssesive behaviour(!) as she calls it, and as usually happens with me, it wasn't there! I don't have proof. And fottuu? What are you talking about? Did I mention that it was the HUGEST too. With freakishly long legs (uh? limbs?)!!! And not even sexy ones, I tell you!! So, all I say is that it was, in fact, the ugliest, freakiest, spookiest, weirdest, umm..obnoxiousest? dog ever!!!

So this ugliest, weirdest thing ever turned out to be the patheticest too. I don't know why, but I can't seem to get the image of him (his proud stance and his dirty long greyish legs all dirty) out of my head! The moment I find something 'disgusting' , it's there in my head with all sorts of MS Powerpoint 2007 'custom animation effects' playing with it!

I've always been scared of dogs, unlike my brother who used to follow them around and cause my parents much trouble because they looked like his favourite 'bhediyas' in Mowgli pretty much. Then there came a time, when I started hating them from the core of my heart and when it became clear to me that they're all like Mojo Jojo(s). All they've ever wanted is to eat up all the humans alive so that they can rule the world. And trust me, guys, those who own dogs, tommy is going to eat you up and soon. You won't even live long enough to say "Et tu, Brute!". So much for your faith in their loyalty. Trust me, it's gonna happen and soon.

Karan Johar, who seems to have realized this is even making a movie called 'Koochie Koochie Hota Hai' with dogs as the main characters of the most amazing movie ever. As if all this butter-baazi with the dogs is gonna save him when his time comes.

They've made me weak and perpetually scared when out alone. My younger brother tells me to 'grow up'. My mother sees a little good in it since I only recite the 'Gayathri Mantra' full-speed when I see a dog. So, the Gods have conspired to keep sending them my way. Hmph.

But, worst of all, they've even made me vulnerable in not a good way. Some ten days back, I was standing outside my insitute at a photocopy shop to get a copy of the notes I'd missed taking since I was busy reading 'The Bridget Jones' Diary' in class. Enter dirty stray dog. They recognize my smell. And off I go with the super fast version of 'Gayathri Mantra' and the next thing I know, I'm suddenly trying to grab the arm of a guy friend I'd known for some 15 odd days and blabbering "listen..listen..listen.."... He's confused. Double Personality Syndrome? What? And then, as expected, bursts out laughing. Damn. I mean, damn. He didn't even have to work for it! THAT is what they've done to me. The bloody hounds.

If you've known me for more than a year, there are chances you might've heard THE story. The HATRED ORIGINS. The prequel. And there are chances you might have heard it more than you'd have liked.

So, I was 12 and I loved to bicycle which is exactly what I was doing when this particular black bitch (No, literally) thought it okay to block my way and just stand there and do nothing but stare at me. And I really don't know what I'd done to deserve this sorta behaviour. I mean, I never played with her children. Those pups were seriously gross. It wasn't them. They were born dogs and that's what they were destined to remain forever. She was known to be a mad one and all.

Like in all the other important stories, 'Maa' played an important role in this one as well. I remembered what my mother had advised me to do when I encounter such a situation and I did just that. I pretended to pick up a stone from the road. It had absolutely no effect on her. She was motionless, still staring and frankly, really scary. So, I tried the same technique again and again for some time till I ran out of patience and actually picked up a stone. No, I wasn't throwing it at her or something. I just picked it up. JUST THAT.

And I don't recollect who moved first but all of a sudden, I was running to save my life with my much faster, much stronger predator after me!!! God bless all the cacti plants outside my house for saving my life!! Because I fell straight into them and despite being the bitch (again, literally. I've given up abuses for good.) she was, she ran away. I don't know what exactly scared her more. The thorns adorning both my legs or those in the pots! Of course, I had to bear with the torture of a few tetanus injections here and there that my mother, who's a doctor, put me through using her universally-known supposedly-gentle-technique.

So spare me all dog-lovers. I don't buy your 'Kuch nahi kahega' attitude.

John recently mentioned in his HT City Column that he has developed hatred for a fellow female co-star(!) since the time she said something like "I WANT ALL THE DOGS KILLED...AAAAARGHHH!!!" because he's a true animal lover and supports animal rights and wears a PETA T-shirt cause it's pink and blah. Ah, whatever. I can be an actress too matlab 'cause I carry the same view!! YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!