WHOA! WHAT?

First things first,

Guess what, JOHN and KATRINA DIE at the end of the movie!!!! DIE!!!!!Muhahahahahahahaha!!

Ok, THAT I've always wanted to do. Really. PK (NOT JK's relative. I charge for special appearances on my blog and that's what the free ones get.) spoiled the whole suspense and the generally happy home-room mood, when he burst right into the classroom with "Dumbledore dies", right after the day the book was released. The Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It was a catastrophe. None of us had any premonition of this impending doom and hence, were totally unprepared.

I'm not doing a review here a la Rajeev Masand. Who, BTW, I really like. I can't say love. I've started loving too many, too much. It's hard to create a line. But yes, he's awesome. I like the way he does the reviews. He's aggressive in his choice of words and so, we have a connection :) . Doesn't get off focus just to sound funny or something. He's great, really. OK, I take his word only if I want to. I mean, the guy's great and everything, but we don't have to agree on everything, right? So, yeah, he spoiled Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na for me, which was probably the first time I listened to a review before watching the movie myself. He called it an average movie. And so, I could not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Second time round when I watched the movie alone, at home with Tyler (That's what my bro has named our PC. Lame, no?? Muhaha. Guess what our laptop is called! Dragon!!! Ahahaha. And he calls me lame. Ah, whatever.), I cried buckets, tubs, drums. I don't exactly know why I cried that much when it's supposed to be a feel-good movie. Well, I still have doubts about me. Hee hee.

Okay, returning back to the main point. I don't intend to do a review of the movie. But, my would-have-been-victim in such a case is in Bangalore doing an internship and I don't really think I can afford a STD call, right now. She calls me up in the middle of the night because of a "MAJOR CRISIS!!" that was Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. She'd just seen the movie and was feeling "destroyed, deeply affected, devastated!!!". Yeah, you get the drift. And it went on for some 3 hours. Gawd, I am such an amazing friend! And everybody at home is sick tired of my 'wondering aloud'. So, yay!! :) Blessing in disguise, right? What disguise! Just blessing.

So the movie is going awesomely well throughout, right untill the end. I'm about to cry at one particular point when my dude of a bro makes a you're-such-a-lamerrrr expression and off we go laughng. I mean, I don't get it. JOHN DIES!!! KAT DIES!! I don't feel a thing. Nothing. I didn't cry. Didn't want to jump right into the movie and save them from the bullets that went right through them. Nothing. In my friend's words, kuch feel nahi aayi. You know, it seemed all fake. I knew it was a movie and there were actors playing it. I wasn't shocked when they died. Nor sad. Cause they were merely actors playing their respective roles. Just that.

Why exactly John did what he did, I can not figure out. The message of the movie, if any, was also very vague.

I like the songs a lot though. Especially 'Mere Sang'. I like the feel of the song. This Pritam guy's really cool, man. I mean, he copies the best of Taiwanese/Korean tunes and brings them to India.

Anyway, my mood has changed from aggressive, DAMN CONFUSED-can't figure out a thing, weird to normal, normally hungry, judging whether or not I'm in love with NNM(damn, his name is looong). So, yeah, I'm not going to elaborate any further on my point. There's no maggi. :( Toh, basically, Sunfeast Pasta ki Jai!!! Shit, I'm back to confused. Blue, Red, Green ya Orange??!!!

The great Indian (hyper-extended) family.

She entered the restaurant with her not-so-much, yet-younger brother in tow. As she went ahead, carving her path through a sea of people, protecting her little (sneers) brother from the evils of the world, she almost had to do a Matrix to escape a well, let's say, a healthy Aunty wearing a vulgar over-sequined saree, who, in a fit of laughter (induced by vulgarly fat Uncle husband's joke), was falling over her unknowingly. She survived even as the Aunty gave her a threatening look on seeing the look of disgust on her face.

She was about to reach her table. Suddenly, her path was blocked by a couple of three year olds who were dragging a chair back and forth making screeching noises and another couple who were shouting cheers for them in a shrill, very shrill voice. The chalktrauma* made her want to pull her hair out, kick off the kids in different directions and retire to the Himalayas for-ever. But, she survived. Because all she could think of in that one moment was that why was it called 'back and forth' when 'forth and back' makes more sense because 'back' is when you come 'back' from 'forth'. Her therapy classes had really helped with her grave anger issues by teaching her how to divert her mind.

She sat on her chair, only to find that it wasnt't there. She fell, hurt. Fat aunty had borrowed the chair without asking if it was needed. She survived, still. She took it as a positive thing to have happened. It suddenly brought life into her lazy self. 'Art of the living' classes weren't a bad idea, after all.

She almost had laryngitis from having to shout at the top of her voice to be audible to her parents sitting across the table because a group of fat kitty-party aunties were so amicably fake-complimenting each other's sarees and just by-the-way bitching about their daughter-in-laws, their cacophonous, high pitched voices echoing through the hall (hell). She cursed them with the Swine Flu.

What can you say about an almost(still) 20 year old who survived?

That she loved people.

The Obnoxious, The Unbelievably Annoying and The Incredibly Stupid.

They never ceased to amaze her.

P.S.: 'She loved people' was an alternate title. But then, I decided to go with the 'family' one because I figured that to make an impactful speech, you've got to include the 'parivaar' feeling somewhere.

P.P.S.: Heh. I loved third person talk!! Weird..but, doing more of it for sure. :D

P.P.P.S.: I haven't taken any of those classes, just FYI.



*Chalktrauma (chawk' traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard. Source: Sniglets