Saturday, February 28, 2009

On why Blogger is so slow.

I don't know. But it sucks BIG time!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Gawd! 20?

Well, (yay! I broke the "Okay" jinx) my 20th birthday is almost 2 months away. 20, damn it!! Okay (And, here I go again. *sigh*), please don't take me wrong here, but, 20!! Ain't that old?? I mean, it's the beginning of the downhill journey as far as health is concerned as they say. It's the beginning of laugh lines and wrinkles and black spots and pains in the asses (read: responsibilities, real-grown-up behaviour) and the end of -"I'm just a teenager-I'm supposed to be like this" or "I can't concentrate on my studies because I'm suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), you see..which is a pretty common adolescent problem. Absolutely normal." - excuses, stuff toys and barbie dolls as birthday presents (That was a pun. Seriously, I'm so not gonna miss that one!) and lame jokes.

Now, that is why I never wanted to turn 19!! Because after 19 comes 20, then 30 and then 45!!
OMG! Almost 5 years from now, I might even be married!

Anyway, it's not something I can change, right? So, here are things that I want to change about me (with effect from my 20th birthday):

1. I weel finish my home-work on ta-eem: Remember when you were small, in 5th grade and you purposefully forgot to finish your home-work and your teacher made you write this line with your tiny little hands over 100 times? Well, my teacher left long ago. But she left a substitute - the scruples of my conscience. So, I'm going to do everything I know I should do, and yet, I don't because I'm plain lazy and I'll do everything on time.

2. Lessen the amount of cribbing and self-pitying: Okay..I mean..I'll try. Really, I will.

3. Waste lesser time on the internet: Of course, this is subject to T&C (Read: This applies only when I'm not depressed and have better things to do).

4. Ah, whatever!: Okay, I'm really tired of listing this now!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Whatever happened to people believing in the good 'ole signals!

Okay. (I know it's creepy that every post so far starts with this word. Well, It is one of my favorites. Warning: And so are lame jokes, by the way.). Have you noticed how obsolete (And, for once, we can't even blame technology for that) the good 'ole signals have become in this day and this age. By signals, I mean the way you twirl a strand of your hair around your index finger (Okay, not you. The 20th century Bollywood heroines, I meant) and try to smile more when you're around the guy you'd love to be with or the way you notice and yet ignore someone you're trying to avoid. Yeah, those are the signals I'm talking about. People seem to ignore them a lot these days, especially if the signals are not nice ones. What I basically mean is:

Scene 1: Yeah, so there's this ugly guy from your college (the one you left when you changed your mind about the course you really wanted to study and switched lines to a different course called Chartered Accountancy to put a seemingly-unending confusion about "what I want to be when I grow up" to an end - after going through a year of torture called 'Honors course in Mathematics"). Still with me, are you? Just asking. Because my ramblings sometimes make people think about their own confusions and the problems haunting their lives which eventually leads to me consoling them rather than the way it was supposed to be. I know I can surely be a psychologist sometimes after I have exhausted all my accounting juices.

So, back to the main topic, as I always say. So this ugly guy from your college - the one you're least interested in talking to and ignored the whole year that you went to that particular college- leaves you one of those " hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....wasssssssssssup?????" messages on one of those so-called social-networking sites (orkut, facebook et al) and here it goes (I've tried to translate it all as well as possible):

Ugly Guy: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....wasssssssssssup?????

I: No reply for 15 days

UG: Heyyyyyyy!!!! why are you not replying???!!!!! naraaz hai kya??? (translated as: are u upset with me???)

I: Hey. nm. u tell? ( Signal: Who ARE you?! Buzz off!!)

UG: Nothing much, yaar (friend) . Sooooooo......wasssssssup????

I: Yeah. well, nothing. studies.
(As if you haven't already asked that one!! Buzz off, random guy!!)

ohhhhhhhhh......padhaaaakuuu!!! (translated as: "ohhhhh....the nerddd!!") Yaar top karna hai kya??? Thodi intelligence hume bhi de do naaa!! (Oh!! So, you're plannign to top the class again, are you?? Can't you give a piece of your intelligence to me!!??)

Chal chodd...aur bata??!! (translated as: Okay, leave this topic..what else is up??) Come to college some day..we'll have a good time!!

I : Hm. yeah..well I'll try.

UG: Yeah..tell me whenever you plan to come, alright?

I: Yeah. (Like I'm that stoopid, u jerk!)

UG: Ohkkkkkk...cyaaaaaa !!! tc :) :) :)

Scene 2: Random-boring-self-absorbed-person you bumped into at a college fest and have been talking to for 5 minutes now without actually talking:-

Blah Blah Blah... ( 5 minutes )

Random Person:- So you know what, I had 5 bottles of pure vodka that other day and WoW, then we went on a bike and this random girl I met at that party!! And then you know..

I: (constantly checking watch and looking here and there) Hmm..Ok..Alright then..(Yeah, yeah you're SO COOL! Let me go, please!!)

RP:- And you know the other day..I was reading this amazing book and..

I: Well, nice meeting you..Alright then..

RP:- Blah Blah

I: hmm (Get a life dude!)

Blah Blah Blah (and goes on forever)

I really don't mean to be mean or something (For all those who're one of the jerks and reading this.: Realization is half the battle won, my dear. Come to me for advice sometime. Free of cost, of course!. Take care.)

Take care of yourself, blog. :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

MAC and Cheese!! Almost.

Not gonna write another "I'm Back" post. Let's just say, I'm back. For now, atleast. OK, now don't give me that look.

Now, cooking is really not the kind of thing I'd like to waste my time on. Net surfing is. But like most people of my age would agree, sometimes, just sometimes, your parents want you to do just the things you hate to do. Because they knew how to do it when they were your age. Because Vinton Cerf was still trying to figure out how to impress Robert Kahn and the whole world with his stupendous discovery-Internet. Because Television still featured just a one hour daily music show - Chitrahar. Because they were obedient to their parents unlike you. After all, what would we know of a world where football was still played bare foot! I say, what's great in making a round, kinda thin, wafer-like thing with dough and then heating it over one of early man's earliest inventions?
Nonetheless, just to win some good points with my parents and more because of shtoopid MTNL's shhhtoopid-broadband-that-won't-work, I thought, what the hell, I might as well try and see what the whole fuss is all about. And I did.
As is my habit, I had already imagined what happy faces my parents would be and what "WHaa..??" face my brother would be after tasting the masterpiece of the master-chef! I chose the supposedly-easy way to this. Teh Microwave.

BAKED MACARONI AND CHEESE. Sounds simple and delicious.
I had told mum not to come in the way. Because I was gonna do it all by myself. Without any help. And then she would know how generous He had been with her daughter.

I'm not gonna share the whole recipe with you guys just like the guys at Bukhara probably won't. As Howard Roark said, "Selfishness is a virtue".
Anyway, it took me around half an hour to complete all except the last step which seemed to be the easiest because it required of me only to sit and watch my sweat and blood (not literally) transform into "a hearty dish featuring pasta and shredded cheese baked to perfection" in the microwave oven.
What turned out instead, was this :

NOT MY FAULT!! It said "MICROWAVE SAFE BOWL", DAMN IT!! Humans can err. Not cook-books, right? Yeah, the supposedly "microwave-safe bowl" got baked along with cheese! Okay, so turns out, it has mentioned in a somewhat hidden place in the beginning that Plastic Microwave-safe bowl should not be used at 250 degree Celsius "Convection Function" and that metal dishes or glass ceramics should be used instead. But, WHATEVER!! It should have been RIGHT THERE!! So while I shouted away alone in the darkness, the evil plastic fumes made their way through the interwoven web of cheese and macaroni! What I regret is, I could have tasted a bit of it while making it. But then, nobody knows why good people suffer!
P.S. : Do tell me how you liked the new look of my blog.

What's with the stripes?

Yesterday was the fourth time ...or probably the fifth that I went for shopping with mom. All thanks to nancy's suggestion, I landed in sarojini nagar. Though its very far from my place, I wanted to go there badly because I had heard so much about it from my friends. Sarojini nagar is THE place if u want to buy "nice/ sexy/chic/hot/cool/lovely + cheap" t-shirts /shirts /tops/ earrings /other girlie stuff. But, one has to make a lot of effort for finding a nice one. Besides, the vendors shouting at their top of their voices : " paintees ki t-shirts, bees rupay, bees rupay, sale sale,bees rupay ki sale" is just so funny. I like it. This is what I call "the flavour of India"(reminds me of The Flavours of China ..its a nice chinese restaurant in Connaught Place, by the way). I loved the place. It was so lively fresh..n the market is like a maze, believe me. I have not seen such a big market place before. If you ask me(not that you have a choice), it was like an enlarged version of the janpath market. And then, there were yummy momos too. I didn't try them (I saved them for the next time I visit the place) , but just that they looked yummy.

I wonder why it always takes me so long to come to the point. Even mom wonders the same. OK, so now, I'll come to the point straight.

I'll begin with a limerick :

"Stripes , stripes , everywhere,
But none is worth a wear,
Unless thou want to look one of the crowd
No matter the vendors who shout out loud
I do not want you to look like an ugly striped bear"

Thank you very much for that appreciative look. I know that great piece of work really did not make any sense to you. What I mean to say is that, whenever I go to buy clothes, all I can see around me are stripes. Yellow with black (Yes, people do wear that "taxi combination") , blue with pink, purple with orange (disgusting) , broad stripes alternating with thin ones or broad stripes overlapped by more broad stripes of a different colour...ugh, whatever . I admit to be the proud owner of six striped t-shirts. But, well, one really doesn't have a choice, u know.

I went to kamla nagar(don't go there for clothes...its like a treasure hunt in garbage land) . Then I went to karol bagh (nice collection at Westside) ,then to Rajouri Garden. And trust me, I saw about a one hundred and thirty girls (don't ask me why I chose that number, please) showing off their collection of stripes.

I'm not saying that thats all that they sell. But thats most of it. I think fashion designers have totally lost their creativity and are now looking towards nature (read:animals) for help. Doesn't that explain the white-n-black and yellow-n-black combo. ( Inspiration Source: mr. zebra and mr. tiger respectively) . Or maybe, they were all hypnotized by a witch-who-loved-stripes.

Well, whatever. Thank you for bearing with me for this long.
But, tell me, because I fail to understand.....

What's with the stripes ???

Also, the one comment I liked best:

Harshâ said...

Stripes, STRIPES, you say..
are stacked all along the pathway.
Who's the witch-who-loved-stripes???
D'You mean the one with bagpipes ??
I was pondering ova this all day !!!

August 7, 2007 10:49 PM

Nu me pi pa

Never mind the title. :P

I had a blog once that died young. Blogger's block or lack of time. Who knows what exactly took it. No one could tell. Anyway, before I completely shut it down, I want to keep two of my most favorite I'm putting em up here..

Also, how's the new template?? Does the blue hurt the eyes?? Tell me !

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Abhishek, I forgive you. For the sloppy frame you carried in Dhoom 2 and for giving the worst flops ever. P.S.: I love you!

Okay. Not exactly as planned. I mean I really did not plan to start my blog with a movie review. Not that that is what this is. Yeah. So, I saw this amazing movie last night called Delhi-6. I was touched, truly. I mean more than by seeing Sonam Kapoor cry like a baby watching Abhishek Bacchan getting beaten up by a horde of villager-like was because the movie was based on a subject that is usually taken as a joke since the monkey man is a long gone thing now (Seriously, you should have seen the same faces then) and yet the same was given a deeper meaning, a much deeper sense. Not to mention the amazing, soulful music and the direction angles and stuff. I mean, the word is AWESOME. Really the first nice movie I saw in six months. Apart from that, I luurved Abhishek Bacchan. Sonam Kapoor was awesome with all her toothy smiles and her tall, thin, perfect size5 frame. I mean I was really beginning to like her and starting to ignore the bitchy comments she sometimes makes about fellow actresses(read: deepika padukone, who I really like..although I shouldn't 'cause she's with Ranbir Kapoor..and OMG! I love him. Urgh. Whatever.)..yeah so I was really beginning to like her when she said her first dialogue! Argh. The voice. It hurt!! She was speaking like a female Himesh Reshammiya is what I think. Seriously, I mean, Abhishek's accent was looking WOW on him. But as soon as his dialogue would end and she would'd know the difference between what things seem and what they really are.

Hi! :)

Okay. Here I go. Well, this is a "Hi" post. (Yeah, Yeah, congratulations, you win, you guessed it right.) So, since I had already wasted a lot of time searching for the perfect blog skin (plus I have absolutely no knowledge of HTML and stuff and so, have absolutely no idea how to customize a blog skin according to my taste)..I thought Ah, what the hell, by the time I get over with this dumb thing, I might even get so sick of it that I might give up the idea of writing a blog altogether. So, well the template might be temporary or not. I might stick with it. Okay, so what is this blog about..frankly,I have no idea until I start writing.

P.S.: Anyone willing to do one's bit for the society by helping me out with my template is welcome. :)