Scene 1: Yeah, so there's this ugly guy from your college (the one you left when you changed your mind about the course you really wanted to study and switched lines to a different course called Chartered Accountancy to put a seemingly-unending confusion about "what I want to be when I grow up" to an end - after going through a year of torture called 'Honors course in Mathematics"). Still with me, are you? Just asking. Because my ramblings sometimes make people think about their own confusions and the problems haunting their lives which eventually leads to me consoling them rather than the way it was supposed to be. I know I can surely be a psychologist sometimes after I have exhausted all my accounting juices.
So, back to the main topic, as I always say. So this ugly guy from your college - the one you're least interested in talking to and ignored the whole year that you went to that particular college- leaves you one of those " hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....wasssssssssssup?????" messages on one of those so-called social-networking sites (orkut, facebook et al) and here it goes (I've tried to translate it all as well as possible):
Ugly Guy: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....wasssssssssssup?????
I: No reply for 15 days
UG: Heyyyyyyy!!!! why are you not replying???!!!!! naraaz hai kya??? (translated as: are u upset with me???)
I: Hey. nm. u tell? ( Signal: Who ARE you?! Buzz off!!)
UG: Nothing much, yaar (friend) . Sooooooo......wasssssssup????
I: Yeah. well, nothing. studies. (As if you haven't already asked that one!! Buzz off, random guy!!)
UG: ohhhhhhhhh......padhaaaakuuu!!! (translated as: "ohhhhh....the nerddd!!") Yaar top karna hai kya??? Thodi intelligence hume bhi de do naaa!! (Oh!! So, you're plannign to top the class again, are you?? Can't you give a piece of your intelligence to me!!??)
Chal chodd...aur bata??!! (translated as: Okay, leave this topic..what else is up??) Come to college some day..we'll have a good time!!
I : Hm. yeah..well I'll try.
UG: Yeah..tell me whenever you plan to come, alright?
I: Yeah. (Like I'm that stoopid, u jerk!)
UG: Ohkkkkkk...cyaaaaaa !!! tc :) :) :)
Scene 2: Random-boring-self-absorbed-person you bumped into at a college fest and have been talking to for 5 minutes now without actually talking:-
Blah Blah Blah... ( 5 minutes )
Random Person:- So you know what, I had 5 bottles of pure vodka that other day and WoW, then we went on a bike ride..me and this random girl I met at that party!! And then you know..
I: (constantly checking watch and looking here and there) Hmm..Ok..Alright then..(Yeah, yeah you're SO COOL! Let me go, please!!)
RP:- And you know the other day..I was reading this amazing book and..
I: Well, nice meeting you..Alright then..
RP:- Blah Blah
I: hmm (Get a life dude!)
Blah Blah Blah (and so..it goes on forever)
I really don't mean to be mean or something (For all those who're one of the jerks and reading this.: Realization is half the battle won, my dear. Come to me for advice sometime. Free of cost, of course!. Take care.)
Take care of yourself, blog. :)