I-Pee-Hell is SO ON!!

Even though I'm sure as hell that an evil someone is piercing holes in a Voodoo doll version of me at a point very close to the edge (the one to the left side of the arm if I keep it palm-up and to the right side if I keep it knuckles-up) of the elbow hinge of my left arm and a point in my head right above my right ear, I still believe in the existence of a divine superpower, jinhe hum pyaar se, God bolte hain.

I know he's watching me. My every move. I knew it three winks after my freak accident last week when I fell straight on my back and my head and the back side of my limbs and all things in between from a swing at 1.00 a.m. in the morning. Why I was having a nice time doing a Tarzan at the swings at 1 in the morning is remotely important in this context. That it happened within a moment of me uttering just-a-little bad something for someone really bad is what is important. And I swear that was what made me see God - if only for a second there, in a ring of birds, twittering and multi-colored stars, revolving, right above my head, smiling that 'I told you so!' smile, I can tell you he was there. Just FYI, he's got a makeover..nomore looks the way he used to in the Bruce Almighty times. (And YAY!! I got pictures!!! :D :D :D See below.)
It was right there and then that I fully realized the greatness of God eyes - that could see ALL, every damn thing and all, at every single moment. Watching you, they're judging you, calculating and updating your Karma index on god(t)witter.com mini-mini-mini second by mini-mini-mini second and sure as hell, clearing your accounts bit by bit. As my thoughts flew in the direction of Mr. Heisenberg and his uncertainty principle, it suddenly rang a bell as to why he could not accurately measure the momentum and position of an electron in motion at one single moment. Because, however much we may think of ourselves, we are, still, humans, petty earthlings.



You publicly insult Sunil Gavaskar, an elder, apart from being one of the greatest cricketers in the history of Indian cricketers and even though you may have been one of the biggest idols of someone with a heart as pure as pure pasteurized milk for a very very very long time, payback is coming after you. And payback is a biatch, as we very well know. Your very own cricket team may ditch you on the field and bad. Your only two chances at scoring runs - Chrissy baby and Sir Mc Cullum may be out and about in no time. Your almost-captain dada may oh-so-unpredictably(NOT!!) get out in his most favorite caught-behind-the-wicket way, leaving you thinking why he wasted that many balls when that's all he could really end up doing. Howzzat??! Worse, you may even lose by eight wickets to last season's BIGGEST LOSERS in your very first match of I-Pee-Hell 2009!

Kal kya hoga kisko pata....

(To be continued...)

P.S.: I'm still a Shahrukh fan somewhere deep deep deep deep deep down..He just deserves this kinda spanking for his most recent slip-up!

P.P.S.: WOOT!! WOOOT!!!! DELHI DAREDEVILS WON AND HOW!!!!! WOOT!!! WOOT!! WOOOOOOOT!!!!

P.P.P.S.: Damn!! My head!! Just hit the ceiling..now this Voodoo doll thing is driving me crazy!!!!!