HAPPY HAPPY HAPPYY BIRTHDAYY!! :D

And ereeee it comes..when you thought it was all over!!

*drumroll*

HAPPPAAAAAYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYY Aw.S.M.!!! You rock like none other!!!! \m/


Hey yo, this goes to DA MAYYN INDEED
Wannabe Wordsworth, to sarcasm, he's married!!
He's the Burj-Al-Arab guy, the duke of Dubaiieeee (Now, it rhymes!!)

To every other word, he adds an extra 'h'
He's got one in his name, it's the Kerala effect, I guess.

He'll crack a bad joke and go all buhaha
My Mugambo laugh, he steals. It is STILL, NOT buhahaha.

Can't swim, can't sing (hehe), yet in love with himself
Worships ManU, doesn't look much like an elf! (Can't break the rhyme, dude)

Everything he writes is so much from the heart :)
So smoothly does he rhyme, he's a "beeeeeauty" at the art! ;)

He's absolutely honest, will mince no words
Politically correct? He doesn't belong to that herd!

He's the Awesomest and the best looking person ever!
All this for using my "feel love" advice, you're clever!!

Our Mutual Admiration Society, I SO love!
Taureans DO RULE, we see the world from UP HERE, ABOVE!

Some dude's written him a poem, but, thank God (!), he still thinks straight,
Cause..else..I would've had to meet serious competition for getting SRK!

He's a Rajasthan Royal, yet owns a KKR Jersey (?)
His IDOL is WARNEY.. Hee Hee Hee..

Modesty ain't his game, fires PJs like an unstoppable cannon
What-ever people (wink) may say, he's the lovable, AWESOMETHING MENON!!

So..appy yappppayy Birthdayy..may your future hold gold!!
23, is it??? Shit man Bhaskar, you're old!! :P
(You've watched "Partner" right? LOL)

P.S.: What ARE you guys doing here, still?? GO wish Amith..go, go, goo..!!!

P.P.S.: To those of you who're still here, DO NOT make fun of my poem. Better not!

The BEST BIRTHDAYS....Keep em rolling, guys! =)

No more waiting guys 'cause Dr. Acula is here! Did I hear a "YAY"? Yes, I did!

Birthday's long gone. (It was on the 7th, btw. Set your reminders for next year!)..but the feeling's still there. That feeling..of being loved.

Listening to bands-I-can't-spell on my baby, my I-pod YEAH =) , am writing a post merely to show off and relive the day that was all about me. :) (Picture's coming soon to this post!)


First call. Best friend. "YAY! Haaaapyyy Birthdayyy!". "But, it isn't twelve yet! No, check the google time! Uhm, hold on..someone else is also calling." Other best friend. "HAPPPPPYY Birthdayy!!" "Oh hey! hold on..I'll just get back to you!" Best friend 3 goes "happppyyy birthdayyy!! Was I the first one??" First Bestfriend gets tired of holding and calls on landline. "I said it first!! I was first!!!" Best friend 2 again. "NOOOO, I was first.!!! Ye toh cheating hai!!"

Best friend from Japan calls, only to be kept on hold for 3 minutes and then to be called names (names="blank caller, is it ye?", someone else's name(TeeHee))


First cake-cutting of the day. Brother is relieved. After a tortorous evening of trying to keep his hands off her, fighting her tantalizing, born-out-of-a-cloud-of-fragrance fingers, trying to lead him to the forbidden fruit, the cake can finally be his lady. Oh, the sweet, sweet, chocolaty forbidden fruit. Pure magic created by Teh Mother's touch.

"If you find the gift, it's yours!"

Gift??? I said, NO GIFTS!!! I'm on my way to Nirvana. The Himalayas are waiting for me. You can not do this....N-O-O-O (slow motion)


I-poddddddddd?!!!!??!! Purrrrrrpleeee?? Yipeeeeeeeee.

"I'll be there for youuuu..." Where is it..my phone?? "When it hasn't been a day..a week..a month or even a..." Where??? Oh, HERE!

200 shots 'o' rum afta.. (pirate language (fb), yo)

Purple hole, yeh. Oh, you remember?? :-) Blogger rocks!! Gift?? Another one???!!! GIFT???. God, why do I love gifts so much?! WHY? Make fun of my e-mail ID all you want. I just want the gift!! Poem?? Especially for me?? You rock, ye taurean me heartie (pirate, yo, again), ye besht twinnny(I-pod's all yours) !!!

Dizzy and drunk with all the love. "I love you sooo much" SMSes to all best friends. I will not cry. Not write diary. I will not cry. I am 20? Cool. (?) I will not cry.

OK, Can't sleep.


Surrrrrrrrrrpriiiiiseee!!!??? Not really, but still, I am SOOO SURPRIIIIISED!!!!!

(I did in fact invite em to my surprise party. The idea was original, yo. Bludy plagiarist movie-makers, I tell ye)

What??? More gifts??? "That is the cuuuuutest thing evaa!!!" P(r)etty Menakas have specially descended from heaven with the purpose of distracting Yo Vishwamitra from his meditation!! Humph.


Hours and hours of cutting cakes, jumping around, over-acting and discussing TV shows with wild iris-es (wink) later, the chocolate on my face still felt moist, the love, still fresh. As it does now, as I write this post.

What can I say? This is to thank you guys for making me feel so special. :)

And I stop here because, as people tell me, being mushy spoils my reputation a bit. ;-)


P.S.: Now, you may think I'm making too much out of just a birthday. Well, it is never just a birthday for me. Maybe, I cling to memories too much. But, hey, that's the way I am. :)

P.P.S.: My blog name may sound obscene (to some) and wannabe (to some other ones) and I louuve it. ;-) Crap sucks. Crap is what ye got here. Crap is what I post. Yeh got the message!

Update (18/05/2009): Konnichiwa all! Dr. Acula has a series of exams coming up and has realized the importance of 'undivided attention' that her studies need. Need..because she does not wish to make the examiners 'one of her own kind' (evil laugh). Not this time. So, Dr. Acula is off blogger (betta be) for a month. Dr. Acula sends love to all her readers.

Hello Hi chhodiye.

Let me start this on a good note so that you know that this post will come to an end just like all good things do. Hee hee hee.

Yay..so i made a new record by swimming from Pragati Maidan to India Gate non-stop!! Which basically means that i swam 30 lengths of the swimming pool without a stop and each length being 30 m, that makes it 30x30 m which comes out to be umm..900m? Yeah. That's pretty much the distance I'm talking about. If only we were in the Pandavas' era, still and Delhi was Indraprastha, still and submerged with water from Pragati Maidan to India Gate, still..

I hate to have people I know swim beside me. Because, you know, besides the fact that I'm a drown - swimmer, the one that always keeps the life savers on high alert, the swimming pool is my place. I don't want to socialise in there, for God's sake! Thanks to my father, now, I know this guy (who, BTW, is 28 but, looks 19. Yes, you're right, he is in fact, a twin. Not that I'm 28! No way!) and all the time I was trying to avoid saying Hi.

Coming to the point now. I can't believe myself. This is how tired I am of saying Hiiiiis, Heyyyyys and How ARE you?!?!(s) and making unnecessary small talks with people I don't care about or don't want to care about..ever.

Considering..that once upon a time, I really did believe that there is no evil. That everyone had good in them. I loved people. Everyone. And then came the realization of truth when I came to know the world as a gene pool highly adulterated with recessive, defective, selfish, hypocritical alleles. Shortly afterwards, I got the halo behind my head.


P.S.: Do you know you can get a sprain in the greater toe of your left foot? Take care.

The great Indian (hyper-extended) family.

She entered the restaurant with her not-so-much, yet-younger brother in tow. As she went ahead, carving her path through a sea of people, protecting her little (sneers) brother from the evils of the world, she almost had to do a Matrix to escape a well, let's say, a healthy Aunty wearing a vulgar over-sequined saree, who, in a fit of laughter (induced by vulgarly fat Uncle husband's joke), was falling over her unknowingly. She survived even as the Aunty gave her a threatening look on seeing the look of disgust on her face.

She was about to reach her table. Suddenly, her path was blocked by a couple of three year olds who were dragging a chair back and forth making screeching noises and another couple who were shouting cheers for them in a shrill, very shrill voice. The chalktrauma* made her want to pull her hair out, kick off the kids in different directions and retire to the Himalayas for-ever. But, she survived. Because all she could think of in that one moment was that why was it called 'back and forth' when 'forth and back' makes more sense because 'back' is when you come 'back' from 'forth'. Her therapy classes had really helped with her grave anger issues by teaching her how to divert her mind.

She sat on her chair, only to find that it wasnt't there. She fell, hurt. Fat aunty had borrowed the chair without asking if it was needed. She survived, still. She took it as a positive thing to have happened. It suddenly brought life into her lazy self. 'Art of the living' classes weren't a bad idea, after all.

She almost had laryngitis from having to shout at the top of her voice to be audible to her parents sitting across the table because a group of fat kitty-party aunties were so amicably fake-complimenting each other's sarees and just by-the-way bitching about their daughter-in-laws, their cacophonous, high pitched voices echoing through the hall (hell). She cursed them with the Swine Flu.

What can you say about an almost(still) 20 year old who survived?

That she loved people.

The Obnoxious, The Unbelievably Annoying and The Incredibly Stupid.

They never ceased to amaze her.

P.S.: 'She loved people' was an alternate title. But then, I decided to go with the 'family' one because I figured that to make an impactful speech, you've got to include the 'parivaar' feeling somewhere.

P.P.S.: Heh. I loved third person talk!! Weird..but, doing more of it for sure. :D

P.P.P.S.: I haven't taken any of those classes, just FYI.



*Chalktrauma (chawk' traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard. Source: Sniglets

My thoughts become things!

My thoughts become things..

My thoughts become things..

My thoughts become things..

No, this is not me going crazy. This is me on the path of achieving every damn thing I want!! All I have to do is say this line over and over again to myself till the time I start believing in it. Yes!! I've just started reading this book.."The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It's been lying with me for a long time now but it wasn't until today that I found the time and more importantly, the will to read it. (It was gifted to my father to "enhance his powers". Teehee. My father has his set of fans. Me on top, of course.) I had to go on this long metro ride today and so, I kept it in my bag. I've just read through 17 pages and this book has so much of positive energy in it, I love it!!! Mostly because, crazy, insecure person that I am, it feels real good to have some reassurance once in a while. And this book promises me that I could achieve anything, like simply anything if only I tame my mind to focus on all the good thoughts and all the things I want to do and want to have. Which means I can be a film-maker/really rich person/writer/psychologist/have the guy of my dreams which well might be..err..ranbir kapoor/SRK/my own band with me as the lead singer and lots of other things I want so bad and all in this one life. That is SO COOL!! So, it wasn't bad to dream all these years, was it! Heeeheee..I wish..

As usual, when left alone for a long long time with no one to talk to, my Broca Motor's speech area is in a hyper-excited state right now and so, you can expect this post to be very long and verry random!

BTW, yes, SRK is forgiven. I just realized how much I love him and he's just SO ADORABLE!!! And, it happens..with everyone..everyone has weak moments. I just saw Mandira interviewing him like couple of minutes back on 'Extra Shots' and GAWD, those dimples!!! And I love everything about him..what he says, his super-rocking attitude - everything. I love you always and forever, Shahrukh. :) I am sorry. :(

Also, I love dada and I want to apologise to him too. I remember the time we met him in London, shopping in a Marks and Spencers store and how sweet he'd been to me and my brother and my parents. He's such a sweetheart!!! :) :)

AND I'm SO SO happy that KKR WON!!! WOOOOOOOOOT!!! :D :D :D

Anyhoo, done with apologies and back to the randomness. So while I was sitting in the metro and reading the book, the girl next to me was obviously trying to read it too. I could totally see that from the corner of my eye and so, I decided to help her and positioned the book slightly more to her side. After all, no one should be deprived from knowing "The Secret" naa. And she turned out to be a twin. Like, another one!! Not an identical twin, of course. They are way too many to count. I've had people complaining to me about how rude I was to not wave back to them when they saw me at a party/another party/in a general store/near India Gate. DU-H. It wasn't me! I mean twin in the sense..she not only felt no shame in admitting that she was burrying her nose in my book, she even started discussing the subject of the book with me. Cool, na? Yes, I have this weird habit of spotting my twins. See, it's because I've started not liking people in general and then, when I do think someone is SO LIKE ME(!!!) and all..I say it. Of course, there's always the possibility of people running away from me, thinking me to be a crazy, love-deprived person or something. But, what the heck! I take chances on them. And I can judge them to be that person in the slightest of interactions. I've found two such people in real life and they're 'friends for life' now, as I pretty much expected the first time I met them. So, I'm not really that freaky person who just clings to every other person she likes. I'm actually a lot more psychic.

BTW, Delhi Metro is very well on the path of becoming the next DTC bus service. I mean, they stopped at Kashmere Gate for at least 8 minutes just to gather the maximum possible number of stinking, obnoxious passengers they could in that time.

I think I should really get a pepper spray. Those creepy self-defence workshops teach you the stupidest of stuff which is totally unpractical. I remember the time they came to our college and demonstrated how to get hold of a guy's hand, use it to turn him around violently, jab elbow into his stomach and then lift him up, only to throw him back down..if he tries to touch your hand with his while traveling in a DTC bus. Errrr?? My parents think I'll make all the men in Delhi go blind. Like I'm that mad!

I'm very happy because couple of days back, I really cheered up a friend who was feeling really depressed and alone. He's really a kind of happy-go-lucky rare variety of a guy and it was probably the first time ever that I've heard him so depressed. And it feels just great. Because it was done over yahoo chat and yet, I could make him ROFL. I think I'll be a great psychologist some day. If you're reading, I want to tell you that you're the sweetest guy ever and you simply rock!!! And you know I say stuff only when I really really mean it. :) :)

I just realized the number of times I've used really in that paragraph!

Today is the birthday of one such person who really influenced my life in a great way and taught me so much when I was so young. She was my middle school class-teacher. I miss her. I want to call her..but don't have her number. HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY ANJU Ma'am!!!! :) :) You'll always be near the top of my favorite people list!!

Before you read the P.S. section, let me tell you that I'm not a mad person and that it was written way before SRK was forgiven, but could not be published because blogger was acting real slow. Or was it MTNL? Who cares?

Yes.

You can go ahead now.

P.S.:-For the while that I'm not on talking terms with Shahrukh, I've found myself a new idol and I have a very valid reason to like him. "Zindagi Jhandawa, Fir bhi Ghamandwa". Yess Boss, you heard it right. If you think my faith in humanity is totally shaken and hence, this, you're wrong. I've started believing in it. Yups. And guess, what! this person is the Shahrukh of Bhojpuri films! Do I need say any more???

This is why.

The thing that most people missed out while defining 'friends' on Urban Dictionary is that they are the people who just love to annoy the crap out of you, especially if you are too honest about things. Well, some of them. Sometimes.

Some recent digs my friends made at (study-leave-)me included these:

"Whaaaa..?? Haahahaha..You are SUCH A NERD!!! Hahaha...Past six months you were working more than 50 hours a week in your..whatever you call it..your office and now you're studying more than 50 hours a day!!! Shit man."

-------------

F:Heyy!! I just called to check ..you aren't drinking too much, are you??

I: What??!! I don't drink...you know that!!!
F: But, New year's..
I: COME ON NOW, that was just a sip! You're mad! Plus, you know I haven't the time to go out and have fun, really!!
F: Yeah..that's pretty much why I called!! Dev D..remember? People drink in depression!?
I: What??!! AARGH..I'm not depressed!! Shoo.!! Shoo..!! Shoooo!!!!

--------------

I: Hiiii!!!!! Long time yaar!!!! Sup??
Friend's friend: Nothing..college..masti...u tell??
I: Nothing..padhai and all..on study leave..
FF: Oh..so your life's in deep shit, eh?? *evil laugh*
I: If you insist...that is.

--------------

P.P.S.: My dreams are getting weirder day by day and also, a lot more symbolic. I want a sound sleep so bad. Hmph.


Update: I've removed the Ravi Kissen picture. He is just SO UGLY. Ugh. It was put up only to tease Shahrukh..but now that we're back together..Shoo. You have no place in my heart or on my blog.

I-Pee-Hell is SO ON!!

Even though I'm sure as hell that an evil someone is piercing holes in a Voodoo doll version of me at a point very close to the edge (the one to the left side of the arm if I keep it palm-up and to the right side if I keep it knuckles-up) of the elbow hinge of my left arm and a point in my head right above my right ear, I still believe in the existence of a divine superpower, jinhe hum pyaar se, God bolte hain.

I know he's watching me. My every move. I knew it three winks after my freak accident last week when I fell straight on my back and my head and the back side of my limbs and all things in between from a swing at 1.00 a.m. in the morning. Why I was having a nice time doing a Tarzan at the swings at 1 in the morning is remotely important in this context. That it happened within a moment of me uttering just-a-little bad something for someone really bad is what is important. And I swear that was what made me see God - if only for a second there, in a ring of birds, twittering and multi-colored stars, revolving, right above my head, smiling that 'I told you so!' smile, I can tell you he was there. Just FYI, he's got a makeover..nomore looks the way he used to in the Bruce Almighty times. (And YAY!! I got pictures!!! :D :D :D See below.)
It was right there and then that I fully realized the greatness of God eyes - that could see ALL, every damn thing and all, at every single moment. Watching you, they're judging you, calculating and updating your Karma index on god(t)witter.com mini-mini-mini second by mini-mini-mini second and sure as hell, clearing your accounts bit by bit. As my thoughts flew in the direction of Mr. Heisenberg and his uncertainty principle, it suddenly rang a bell as to why he could not accurately measure the momentum and position of an electron in motion at one single moment. Because, however much we may think of ourselves, we are, still, humans, petty earthlings.



You publicly insult Sunil Gavaskar, an elder, apart from being one of the greatest cricketers in the history of Indian cricketers and even though you may have been one of the biggest idols of someone with a heart as pure as pure pasteurized milk for a very very very long time, payback is coming after you. And payback is a biatch, as we very well know. Your very own cricket team may ditch you on the field and bad. Your only two chances at scoring runs - Chrissy baby and Sir Mc Cullum may be out and about in no time. Your almost-captain dada may oh-so-unpredictably(NOT!!) get out in his most favorite caught-behind-the-wicket way, leaving you thinking why he wasted that many balls when that's all he could really end up doing. Howzzat??! Worse, you may even lose by eight wickets to last season's BIGGEST LOSERS in your very first match of I-Pee-Hell 2009!

Kal kya hoga kisko pata....

(To be continued...)

P.S.: I'm still a Shahrukh fan somewhere deep deep deep deep deep down..He just deserves this kinda spanking for his most recent slip-up!

P.P.S.: WOOT!! WOOOT!!!! DELHI DAREDEVILS WON AND HOW!!!!! WOOT!!! WOOT!! WOOOOOOOT!!!!

P.P.P.S.: Damn!! My head!! Just hit the ceiling..now this Voodoo doll thing is driving me crazy!!!!!

Grrr..

I can't sleep!! And yes, for those who have doubts, I do sleep!! Not the mosquitoes this time. No sir, they've well been taken care of by ALL-OUT (with extra MMR). It is that time of the year again when I'm reeeeally missing Rahul, the guy who does the annual servicing of our Air Conditioners! But, it's not that either!

My sleep has been broken!!!! I hate sleep-breakers!!! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!!! Cause you don't want what happens next...But, you've dunnit..you've just hit the right button..and it's coming..you know that..

*HATE FUMES *

I've been hit by blank calls!! I mean, for God's sake, it was okay during the day..but 1:30 in the morning..Grr..PEOPLE SLEEP DAMMIT!! Go, go!!..tell all your bat friends about it!!

If this is the same sick person who, not long ago, pledged to mess with my peace of mind,"Tsch Tsch" for falling to such levels"!!!! SLEEP BREAKING??? You are sure going to bloody bloody HELL, dude!! Also, "Uh, Uh!"..you ain't even close! Know why?

I was tempted to put this particular number up here..but, guess what, I'm not that mean, evil, mad, deranged, out-of-his/her-mind-person that you are, now..am I?

So..GO!! Whoever you are..I set you free!!

I forgive..and yeah, that was my peace of mind speaking for me!! HELL YEAH, I'm a Taurean and I'm hard. You hit me harder and you'll bounce off to undiscovered universes, I promise ya.

Grr..

It is about time that the world saw the birth of GOD yet again..Evil people need to die and soon.

STOP MESSING WITH THE ZOHAN, EVERYONE!!

Grr..

P.S.:- Blank calls?? I mean reeeally..!! They're so out of fashion. Haven't you heard...missed calls are the new blank calls!!

P.P.S.: Zohan is me.

*Yawn*

Wow..I'm yawning! See how forgiving I am?